LETTER
FROM AMERICA: THE PICTURE IS MOVING When is a video not a video? How should The Sorcerers know? Ask Soren Kierkergaard, see if he knows the sound of one hand clapping while the other hand holds a JVC GR-DA30. PRODUCTION NOTE: The file (above right) was just delivered to The Sorcerers’ Lab moments ago by Christopher James Simoneit. Mr. Simoneit is the artist in residence at the Atascadero Home for the Criminally Insane. The Sorcerers are to understand that Mr. Simoneit put the finishing touches on his effort while deep in an altered fevered state brought on by acute tonsillitis. The file delivery was somewhat late due to Mr. Simoneit’s struggling with the paperwork that promises to be the malpractice suit of the decade. In a bold stroke of legal genius, Mr. Simoneit enjoins the family and the late inventor of the tonsillectomy, famed physician to the Mongol Hordes, Dr. Larry Khan. The Sorcerers look forward to the trial. Enough of the backroom dealings of The Sorcerers and their talented support staff – let these video or non-video images be distributed evenly over The Sorcerers’ home planet and let the message of “Rockin’ Baghdad” resonate like fourteen trillion electron volts. For The Sorcerers, nothing has changed, modesty remains their watchword. The next non-video production from The Sorcerers should be “I Love You Fellow Citizen”, now in development hell somewhere near Pismo Beach. Please forward this non-video to one friend, two strangers and to someone with tonsillitis. CONTEST TIME: Free musical gifts from The Sorcerers’ Lab for clever participation in this Gift To The World As We Know It. Email:hipstermedia@msn.com This is a secret contest, please, not a word about “Contest Time” to anyone, especially Soren Kierkergaard or any of his existential drinking buddies. In addition to the tonsillectomy, which other medical procedures were developed by Dr. Larry Khan? a.) The Genghis Thorax Removal b.) The Uyghur Blood Drain c.) The Gobi Bypass d.) The Bulgarian Flay Next time in The Letter From America: The Sorcerers’ Slog, news of the benefit The Sorcerers’ play in support of the upcoming gas/food riots in Hollywood. Michael Knight ---------------------------------------------------------- Letter From America: The Sorcerers’ Slog #25 Gaseous Every now and then America goes off the rails. When this happens we choose to look the other way as a time saving device. No one can take advantage of such a situation better than another American, or in this case, the American oil industry. The Sorcerers say, “Listen!” … Hear that? Not a peep …with all the hot air rising from the Presidential candidates have you heard any of them mention gas going up 20 cents a gallon just this week? Have you heard any of the candidates chide the American oil industry for its’ blatant price gouging, its’ malevolent manipulation of the economy, its’ wanton destruction of the quality of life? Not a peep. Not a Senator, not a Governor, not a Candidate, no one is willing to peep. We’re off the rails, getting screwed and behaving ourselves. This scenario reminds The Sorcerers of the pop hit, “Silence Is Golden” by The Tremeloes (1967). Now citizens maintain total silence while the oil barons get the gold, billions of it in profits each quarter. It is enough to make one sing in falsetto and sit quietly while suffering form the Stockholm syndrome. Who needs a water board, we want to enjoy ourselves in the grand age of oil greed. The oil profits are as obscene as the gluttons who make them, these mountebanks have us by the throats and by the gallons … we need help … help us, oh, prophets of help. Carl Jung is in town and pulls his rent-a-car into a Chevron station. Before he can get out of the car he has the sensation of being screwed by some invisible Chevron screwy-thing. He raises the gas hose and now he thinks the screwy sensation is real, too real. Jung has pumped $20 of regular gas into his burgundy colored Buick. His purchase amounts to only 5.5 gallons, he cannot escape the feeling of paranoia and dread. Jung’s intuition tells him to flee. He hops in the Buick and burns rubber. Jung leaves the Chevron’s logo of martial wings jabbing into the LA sunlight, mocking both nature and economics. There is no self-help to bind these wounds. Jung turns on the rent-a-car radio – but there is only silence – peepless silence. The Sorcerers remind the robber barons of the oil industry that we, the citizens, are a nation of revolutionaries. The courts, the legislature, the authorities will not stop the price gouging so, we, the sons and daughters of the revolution must. It would not be like The Sorcerers to advocate violence would it? No, it would not … no, of course not … no, that is not what The Sorcerers meant … Yes, perhaps it is time for a little persuasion. Would it not be a modest proposal to enter the high rise bastions of the oil criminals, drag a random vice-president into the street and ask politely, while tying him into what looks from a distance like the Boy Scout knot known as the sheepshank, if it would not be too much of a burden for him to pump regular gas at $1.25 by sundown? Did I say $1.25? How funny, the price just went down by 20 cents for no discernable reason. Make that $1.05. Assure the other vice-presidents we will be back tomorrow and market forces being what they are, with such volatility in the market, with the dollar sliding against the Euro, with the summer driving season nearly upon us, with certain refineries off-line for no good reason, with uncertainty in the Middle East and with the cartels in a noticeably pissed off mood, he can expect certain fluctuations at the pump. He can also expect certain changes in his personal life and physical structure. Dear Mr. Oil-Vice–President, please make that new price 99 cents a gallon, or, from a distance the next oil executive chosen at random will appear to be imitating the intricacies of the famous Boy Scout knot known as the bowline-on-a-bight. CONTEST TIME: Another Gift To The World As We Know It. Free Musical gifts from The Sorcerers’ Lab for clever participation in this contest, send answers to hipstermedia@msn.com – but remember this is a secret contest, tell no one about The Sorcerers reluctant call for the symbolic tying of the sheepshank. The Sorcerers favorite syndrome is a) The Carl Jung Buick syndrome b) The Chevron evil-wing-logo syndrome c) The Tremeloes’ falsetto syndrome d) The Stockholm water board syndrome Next time in The Letter From America: The Sorcerers’ Slog … Roger Clemens pulls into a Chevron station to get some B-12 For the total Sorcerers’ Slog Collection, visit www.myspace.com/thesorcerers Michael Knight ---------------------------------------------------------- Letter From America: The Sorcerers’ Slog #24 Coffee House Bliss You missed a good one – if you missed it ….. if you caught it – you caught a good one. If you caught it, but then dropped it …no worries, fuhgetaboutit. What appears to be nonsense is only the self-congratulatory shining aftermath of another wonderful show by The Sorcerers – thanks to Bob Stane and the Coffee Gallery Backstage and thanks to Bliss, music authority of the Pasadena Weekly who wrote this nice feature on, none other than the musical entity created by modesty itself, The Sorcerers. Rockin'
Baghdad By Bliss 02/21/2008 The current presidential campaign is easily the most interesting, thought-provoking race in generations. Instead of plastic genuflections to the altar of suburban complacency, we're getting substantive discourse on issues of relevance to folks in the middle and lower tax brackets, chief among them health care, poverty and the war in Iraq. It's exciting. It's also sometimes amusing. Echoing Reagan's attempted cooption of Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA," at least two candidates - Mike Huckabee and John McCain - have tried to transform rock classics into rallying cries for the GOP faithful. Unfortunately for their image consultants, they've been very publicly asked to cease and desist by Boston and John Mellencamp, respectively. (They may have done the politicos a favor; did McCain or his handlers actually listen to the lyrics of "Pink Houses"?) Little new music has emerged to replace old anthems - or so it seems. Satellite and terrestrial radio don't air much political rock or rap, and 4th 25's "Live From Iraq," a hard-hitting 2005 recording of real soldiers rapping out their frustrations, remains an anomaly. But it's worth noting that close to 2,500 songs by artists of varying renown and genre are posted on the website Neil Young created for his angry "Living With War" release: www.neilyoung.com/lwwtoday/lwwsongspage.html. More locally, a quartet of artists and engineers from various corners of the music industry - Michael Knight, Chris Navarro, Seung Park and Ricky 2Shooz - have joined forces as the Sorcerers to fire a musical salvo at the political "Dunderheads" responsible for plunging the nation into war and mounting debt. Their new CD, "AMP (American Musical Portraits)," is an unapologetic indictment of the current administration and the nation's troubled state of affairs. Their witty online "slogs" skewer the "Dunderheads Military Excursion" (aka the Iraq War), Ann Coulter and network TV "news." Their songs, mostly constructed in classic rock fashion around sturdy hooks with guitar-bass-drum instrumentation, are similarly caustic. "The Beautiful People of International Love" is a catchy, upbeat ode to peace, harmony and interracial love, but "Doctor and Lord" lampoons the stem-cell research controversy, "T.C.A.W." mock-celebrates "tax cuts and a war" ("What more can we ask for?") and "I Love You Fellow Citizens," dedicated to Damon Runyon and H.L. Mencken, keeps its tongue firmly in cheek while pounding out a faux salute to American self-absorption: "There's nothing on our minds/ Just on our behinds/ We're gaudy and we're showy and we're cheap/ But our motives are the best." Not all of their songs are as musically engaging as the pseudo-peppy "Rockin' Baghdad," but the fact that the Sorcerers make their points with acidic humor and solid musicianship is all to the good. ---------------------------------------------------------- Letter From America: The Sorcerers’ Slog #23 A Gentle Reminder, Please Come! Please don’t forget: The Sorcerers are appearing live in a special matinee this Saturday, February 23 at 2:00 PM at The Coffee Gallery Backstage, 2029 N. Lake Avenue in Altadena, California ... for information, reservations or directions call 626.398.7917 or visit www.coffeegallery.com The Sorcerers realize now they have been doing everything backwards. This is funny, both ha-ha funny and peculiar funny. The Sorcerers began by writing the “AMP” project (learn more at www.the-sorcerers.com), then recording the CD and now as an afterthought, The Sorcerers are actually playing live. To some within the music industry, that is sdrawkcab. With a career arc that is already backwards, wouldn’t it be amusing for The Sorcerers to begin their set with an encore, then retire to their palatial star wagon, The Runamucka, wait until everyone is chanting and stomping and raising their Bic lighters in the air, then return to the stage and continue their set in a backwards fashion, ending with the shout, “Hello Cleveland!” Seriously, wouldn’t that be amusing? Besides taking the stage for the first time in recent memory, The Sorcerers have been preparing their first webisode which has been plagued by many technical, emotional and professional granfalloons, not to mention Mercury-retrograde and the lunacy of a moonie eclipse in full umbra. Nevertheless, new machinery has been brought to bear on the problem and the first Sorcerers’ webisode based on the song “Rockin’ Baghdad” is now on the fast-track to completion, rejection and rehabilitation. CONTEST TIME: Another Gift To The World As We Know It, free musical gifts from The Sorcerers’ Lab for clever participation in the following quiz … send answers to hipstermedia@msn.com, keeping in mind this is a secret contest, more secret than Mitt Romney’s secret underwear! This Saturday
(02/23/08) The Sorcerers’ encore will be a) “Honey”, made infamous by Bobby Goldsboro b) “Don’t You Just Know It”, made famous by Huey “Piano” Smith and the Clowns c) “A Lark Ascending”, made famous by Vaughn Williams and Biff The Lark d) “I Fight Everyday” the slow, manic depressive version made famous by none other than The Sorcerers Next time in The Letter From America, The Sorcerers play a mixer for Barack Obama in the Gymnasium of Punahou School. Michael Knight ---------------------------------------------------------- THE SORCERERS’ SLOG #22: SHOW INVITATION The Sorcerers, on edge, following the traditional raucous Ground Hog Day Celebration, announce a wonderful opportunity for The Sorcerers to play for you … you really should take advantage of this rare occasion. For
Immediate Release: THE
SORCERERS “The
songs on their debut 'American Musical Portraits' hold a mirror up to
today's America, and they don't see anything pretty. The songs themselves
literally act as portraits of regular, hard working people who suffer
in the midst of an unjust war that has sapped funding that could have
gone towards better health care, better education, better jobs, and a
better country. The words sometimes read like news leads in the local
newspaper, while the music either emulates the Byrds' chiming guitars
or a strange mix of boogie and punk.” ~ San Fernando Valley Sun For
more information please contact: Michael
Knight ---------------------------------------------------------- Letter
From America: The Sorcerers welcome the New Year! The Sorcerers can offer a welcome to 2008 or pretend the number of the year is 2007, 1985 or 1066 – time being relative, the number of year is not very important except when signing legal documents. The Sorcerers are expected to be signing many, many legal documents in 2008 and hereby vow to check the date carefully each time. So, welcome New Year, however relative you may be in terms of inter-galactic- Einstein-time. (Offer void in Kansas) To celebrate 2008 (also 1961, 1503 and 1215), The Sorcerers unveil their new website, now waiting to be viewed at www.the-sorcerers.com If you wish, you may interrupt your slogging and begin your viewing at www.the-sorcerers.com Now, please suspend your viewing and resume your slogging: Yes, one can purchase The Sorcerers’ CD, “AMP (American Musical Portraits)” while enjoying The Sorcerers’ new addition to cyberspace. To help you with your last purchase of 2007, or your first purchase of 2008, here is a helpful rundown of the tracks and their subject matter: 1. “Rockin’ Baghdad”. American troops mull over their daily chores while knocking around Bagtown. The Sorcerers have prepared to, but probably won’t, release the sequels, “Rockin’ Pakistan”, “Rockin’ Venezuela”, and “Rockin’ Iowa”. 2. “I Love You Fellow Citizen”. An overview of American mindsets as viewed by The Sorcerers with a nod to sportswriter turned Broadway satirist, Damon Runyon and newspaperman turned fussbudget, H. L. Mencken. “We’re moral and we’re horrible” – such an interesting combination. 3. “Angry & Strange”. What makes Americans angry? Fear… What are Americans afraid of? Nearly everything, despite what professional wrestlers claim on television. What makes Americans strange? Evangelicals, American Idol, Fox News, and 437 cooking channels. 4. “The Beautiful People of International Love”. This song features an interesting list of various racial and religious groups living and mating in Los Angeles. For fun, try to duplicate this song by using the various racial and religious groups living and mating in your town. 5. “America’s West”. Wallace Stegner ingests peyote via a tasty yogurt drink and files a report on revenge and retribution from the edge of the wilderness. Caution: It appears our animal friends are preparing to take the planet back. 6. “Under The Good Old Sun”. Actual tabloid journalism repurposed for use in a mid-tempo western ballad featuring a chorus of Sorcerers’ harmonies. 7. “TCAW”. Who can forget how happy Americans were with the simple things – like big tax cuts and a mission accomplished? 8. “They Say”. Another American pastime: Attributing arcane, unsubstantiated, street rumors to the ultimate non-authority … “Well, they say the rich apply it late at night unto their thighs …” 9. “White Dove”. Violinist Yarda Kettner provides the strings to this lament sung fearfully as darkness spreads across the Federal Territory. 10. “Fitzgerald”. The Sorcerers let the life story of F. Scott Fitzgerald explain why drunken 300-pounders from the trailer park think ten minutes with Maury Povich will turn their life around. We all enjoy climbing the social ladder. 11. “Doctor & Lord”. Elvis had a doctor; this reveals to The Sorcerers that we all need one. 12. “America This”. When disaster strikes, American charlatans and humanitarians are on the march. “This is America, polluted and so pure.” 13. “One Door”. Inspired by Franz Kafka’s Before The Law. You should read it, Kafka is a laugh riot. BONUS TRACKS: 14. “I Fight Every Day [Fast]”. Citizens are fat and happy during wartime, but the returning warriors are not. 15. “I Fight Every Day [Slow]”. What Americans think about war is buried under their protective consumerism. However, for the returning legions, war is forever and ever. CONTEST TIME: Free musical prizes from The Sorcerers Lab for clever participation in a totally secret contest! No one must know! Secret-secret! Send answers to this secret email address hipstermedia@msn.com The Sorcerers’ new website features which combination of colors? a) Puce, pink and maroon 6. b) Rock n’ Roll brown and international orange. c) The color purple and red October. d) White, grey and black. Next time in The Letter From America: The Sorcerers’ Slog ….. The Sorcerers hose down their Stratocasters with human growth hormones. All titles copyright 2007 (1967, 1492) Hipster Media Music Publishing, BM ---------------------------------------------------------- Letter
From America: Thanks For Everything For fans of The Sorcerers in Montevideo, Dubai and Tunbridge Wells, an explanation: America is in the yearly lull that comes between Thanksgiving, a time to give thanks for all the things we have and Christmas, a time to gather new things to be thankful for next Thanksgiving. Sometimes The Sorcerers and other Americans are better at gathering new things with abundant and expectant zeal, than they are capable of being humble, aware, and thankful for things just as they are. Settling for things as they are, does not sit well in the American mind, nor does it seem to ease the tumult of the American spirit, and this is why the winter holidays in America are such fun. On Thanksgiving, Americans eat a lot, while for Christmas, we buy a lot and then, for New Years, we party a lot, delving into all that partying entails. Eat, buy, and then, welcome the New Year by courting one's personal vision of oblivion. Somewhere in the confusion, there is at least one incident of tearing up over a sentimental version of "Silent Night". The Sorcerers try but cannot avoid experiencing many of the above listed holiday pitfalls, although, sometimes, "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem" can be very sad too in a Christmassy way, if done just so … Some Americans think the big three winter holidays are just a prelude to the BIG ONE – Ground Hog Day – but not everyone can agree on this. Rather than burning quickly through the holidays, zooming like a red tractor would burn across the living room carpet on Christmas morning leaving a red streak by the table holding the telephone, The Sorcerers would like to backtrack ever so slightly and pause briefly at Thanksgiving. The Sorcerers have much to be thankful for and now is a good time to let our thanks sit in prominence on the dining room table where the mashed potatoes once sat. 2007, like all years has been terrible and wonderful. Terrible and wonderful is not the best combination for an entire 365 days but this is not wholly The Sorcerers fault; it is mostly the fault of history repeating itself. So, The Sorcerers look forward to 2008, knowing in advance that, it too will be, as years go on, both wonderful and the other thing. Such is life on a planet that is home to a bunch of predators. Ants, spiders, eagles, cats and newscasters, all predators – cows, not so much, and look what rewards they reap by not being one of the predators. But wait, before anyone eats another anyone on predator planet – what happened to the thanks The Sorcerers were going to give? Now we have to backtrack a second time in search of a good place to put our thanks and gratitude. The Sorcerers thank Red White & Green Records and label major domo Martin Jeremiah and his entire staff and all his friends. These are they who could have said, "What are you doing with this band from California, Martin?" or "What possessed you to release their CD, Martin?" However, these brave souls did not say such a thing, very loudly. As The Sorcerers have explained many times in this Slog, we deliver the music instantly to RWG Records where it is marketed, monetized, and distributed evenly to all points on the sphere. Thank you for making this impossible feat seem commonplace. The Sorcerers also extend abundant thanks to Gaynell Rogers and Katrina Markarian of Press & Release Entertainment. In the coming months, Gaynell and Katrina will Promote The Sorcerers in ways no one at this time can accurately name, give The Sorcerers a Public Relation, lay The Sorcerers naked and trembling before the Press and Manage The Sorcerers until we look smart in our band uniforms and learn our stage steps like Paul Revere & The Raiders. We thank Gaynell and Katrina because they know better than most predators that this whole thing is going to work out … How is it going to work out? No one knows it's a mystery. Yes, that last part was from Tom Stoppard (Shakespeare in Love) but if The Sorcerers can pilfer an idea or two from Chuck Berry or Radiohead, then The Sorcerers can also misappropriate a line from Stoppard. So now, gentlefolk, let the New Year come with all its wonder and terror. The Sorcerers thank one another for the music, lyrics, and hyperbole and we thank our families for the inspiration, love and understanding, and, sincerely, we thank you faithful friends and fellow believers. Without a pause, we turn dutifully and stride back to the Lab where The Sorcerers are putting the finishing touches on a new single, "Big Buckets of Corporate Goo". Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and have a bitchin' Ground Hog Day. CONTEST TIME: Special musical gifts just in time to stuff a stocking, free from the Lab for those who hear Marley's ghost rolling his bowling ball through the rumpus room. The Sorcerers newest song is entitled Big Buckets of Next time in The Letter From America: The Sorcerers' Slog, Gangs of Cows burn police cars in the suburbs of Minneapolis.
|